Parents Need Love: A Singe Father’s Story

Written By: Dani Canada

What is it like balancing a bustling career, social life, and single parenthood? For Atlanta-based dad Dimitri Yates, it’s a welcome and rewarding challenge.

Yates' journey into fatherhood began with the birth of his son Dimitri II. aka "Deuce" in October 2020, but his parenting path was shaped long before his son’s arrival. As a bonus dad to his now ex-wife's two daughters, Yates gained valuable insight into parenting and despite the complexities of blended family dynamics, he embraced fatherhood wholeheartedly, cherishing moments like daddy-daughter dances, weekends at the salon, and quality time spent.

“I don't think you ever know what to expect with being a father, and I think being a bonus father first better prepared me for fatherhood with my son,” Yates told ParentsNeedLove. “I get to follow the lessons I learned from the things I did with them and can now implement them.”

“I think working on homework, that type of thing is cool,” he added. “Taking them to the park to play soccer and do activities, all that type of stuff is cool. Now, going to the salon on Saturdays and just sitting there for hours when they got their hair done was definitely different, but it helped me understand more about patience and understanding.”

Speaking of understanding, the 40-year-old North Carolina A&T grad understands the significant role his upbringing plays in shaping his parenting style. Raised primarily by his Chicago-born and bred mother in a single-parent household, Yates experienced a blend of authoritative parenting with elements of flexibility. He fondly recalled his late mother's emphasis on respect and discipline while also allowing him space to voice his thoughts and opinions.

“She made sure she instilled that fear in me early on,” he fondly recalled. “Because I was a boy and she was a woman, she had to make sure that there was a healthy respect there. But once I turned 12, she told me, ‘If I can't tell you what I need you to do and you understand it, I failed.’ So, I really didn't get many beatings past age 11 or 12, and at that point, I started to process more. She wanted to give me the space to be able to have freedom, to be able to communicate what I thought, what I felt.”

It was around those formative years that a more mature Yates saw things from his mom’s perspective as she raised him alone while his father battled substance abuse and addiction at the time, something Yates proudly says his father has overcome amid a 15-year sobriety celebration in April.

His mom was open and honest with him about the situation and Yates appreciated that about his mom’s parenting style.

"Sometimes she may have been a little too transparent at times,” said Yates about the late matriarch whom he likens to his guardian angel. “But she always gave me the choice of spending time with my father, it was never forced nor did she persuade me to not spend time with him. In spite of what my father was battling, I’ve always respected him for continuing to fight and I’m proud of him for prevailing.”

That kind of honesty his mom dished out was (and still is) integral to the proud dad, who’s devoted to providing his son with the love, stability, and positive male guidance he needs to thrive. In his own upbringing, Yates had his Pop a.k.a. his step-dad who loved him in the special way that only fathers can lend to their sons. The engineer admits that he was standoffish at first when his Pop came around, but he grew to grow and love him as his Pop nurtured him, loved his mother, and ultimately was an example of what being a loving father was.”

“I always looked for male role models and male figures that I would latch onto, like my friends' fathers [growing up],” he told ParentsNeedLove. “I would spend a lot of time with them and they would give me guidance about how to be a man. That's something you can’t just take in verbally, you have to witness it.”

“So because of that, my son is never going to ever wonder where his dad was,” adds the father who’s dedicated to not missing milestones or appointments. “When he grows up and looks back at his childhood he’ll remember that his dad was always there. As a single dad now, I'm traveling for work, but I always make sure I'm there for Deuce.”

Speaking of single-hood, in between moments of personal interest like hitting the gym, going to church, and spending time with friends and frat brothers, he enjoys the company of women--but he's cognizant of who he brings around his son. According to him, it’s all about timing, maturity, and understanding that he's working to be the best version of himself at this time.

“If you want to go out with a young lady, that's something you’ve got to plan,” said Yates who tends to date moms. “It's a lot to navigate and you've got to date a certain type of woman who understands that time is limited because it’s going to take some time for me to ever get to the point of introducing her to my son. And then I’ll have to see how you love him because he’s a part of me.”

The dad who jokes that he’s “washed” when it comes to his free time continued,

“Who I bring in my home matters, who I’m around matters. You’ve got to find people who are a little bit more established in life and more mature. I hang with people who understand that I've got financial responsibilities. I'm not in the position nor am I interested in constantly spending money on lavish dates. My focus is building a legacy for Deuce so he can have a better financial foundation than I did."

Ultimately, while this dad’s weeknight dating days are behind him, his daily devotion to his son continues.

"I want Deuce to always feel safe and loved, to know that his dad will always be there for him," said Yates. “Seeing him develop is very touching. I remember when he was born and he couldn't say anything, and now his personality is coming out and he’s bossing me around. It’s just so dope to see a little version of you in the world.”