Parents Need Love: Growing with Faith
Written By: Dani Canada
An intrepid mom of four is opening up about the unique paths she traversed to parenthood twice over.
Faith Bryant has had two motherhood journeys; one that began while she was a teenager, and another that happened years later and ushered in her “soft life” era.” Both have been detailed master classes in balancing parenthood, companionship and “me time” so that the selfless nurturer can care for herself.
When she first become a mom in her teenage years, Faith was determined to break stereotypes.
"My mom was treated with respect, and then I was treated like a problem child,” she told ParentsNeedLove. “And so I just picked up on that and decided that I want to be the person in the room being respected because how people treat me has a ripple effect on how my [first] son would be treated.”
Her resolve was tested however as she expanded her family with a second and third child and got married in her early 20s. Things then complicated further when her husband was deployed just eight months after their wedding leaving her to care for three children alone. The strain of that and the distance contributed to a divorce, but Faith found solace in the support of her mom, sisters and cousins as she embarked on single parenthood and later, single life.
After a move to Daytona Beach, Florida, the mom remained single for 17 years and took a decade long break from dating.
“A guy would ask me for my number and I would say, ‘No, I'm not available, you can't have it.’ I just took myself off the market.”
When her middle son went away to college however she had a life changing change of heart and she met her husband [Terry].
That chance meeting inaugurated the second segment of Faith’s motherhood journey.
Terry, a widower with a desire to have children, moved with fervor and intentionality with Faith, so much so that after a whirlwind six month romance, the two were wed.
“He had a proven track record of qualities that I was looking for,” said Faith. “He let me know early that he wanted to try [to have kids.] He said, "You don't have to carry, because I know that that's a lot on your body, but I would like to adopt," and I had not tied my tubes or incase I met another guy who wanted children, I[and] I wanted to have that be an option.
And while it indeed was an option, it was an uphill battle.
“So we tried to conceive for the first four years, and I miscarried twice,” said Faith to ParentsNeedLove. “I was ready to hang it up. I was like, "Okay. This is not going to work," because I was really tired of miscarrying, and we were going to stop trying.”
Ultimately, the couple gave it one final shot and received the success that had been in seeking.
“I got pregnant in February of 2021, Mr. TJ came on the scene in October of 2021, and he has just changed me,” exclaimed the proud mom before detailing how her second motherhood journey with Terry Jr. ushered her into the “soft life.”
“You ever see how they talk about, "I'm in my soft life, feminine era? This is me now,” Faith told ParentsNeedLove. “My older kids, they knew me as—I don't wanna say the mom and dad because I'm not a dad, but they knew me as disciplinarian and nurturer, a football person; they knew me as all of those things, and now I'm just like, "Who's going to open this door for me?" It's just all softness, and it's been wonderful.”
All the while she’s admittedly enjoying a cushier lifestyle, Faith shared that while she makes time for herself—some of that “me time” includes hours her precious prince.
“Now with TJ, because I’m experiencing so much softness and I don't have to be on all the time, it's so nice,” said Faith. “I just really want to be around him, so me time is different, but I recognize that I need to make sure that I am myself and not just TJ's mom or Terry's wife. So it's different now, but it's not taxing,” she added.
“I’d go out, and I would just take a stroll and sometimes I would take TJ in the stroller, but sometimes I would just go by myself and take a walk, or I'll meet a friend, or if I wanted to go and get a pedicure we [Terry and I] have each other as backup for that.”
Ultimately, this double motherhood mom is embracing her new beginnings with not just her “teammate” Terry but their vital village who she believes will be even more integral in the future.
“Community is so important, and so I've brought that into my parenting journey now as a married woman,” said Faith. “Whenever there's a challenge, Terry’s figuring out how he's going to solve it but my mind always goes to, “How can the community solve this?’ I maintain a village mentality, even though I have a spouse and I have support, but now it helps us.”
“It's important for me with TJ to be able to put those people in his life too. Even though we don't necessarily have to have it for necessity's sake yet, there will come a time when those people will reap dividends because they can pour into him when he might not want to hear from us.”
Ultimately for Faith when it comes to her kids whose ages range from adult to toddler, she’s proud of her contributions to their growth.
“The most rewarding thing about motherhood for me is knowing that I play a role in who these adults are,” said Faith, “So when they are functioning adults, the kid in them is based on who I was to them and when they look at their childhood, it's a childhood that I had a part in developing.”